Addictive Behavior as a Spiritual Teacher: How Urges Can Lead to Inner Freedom
If you were a secret agent shot in the leg, you could not go to the hospital. The bullet must come out immediately, but there is no anesthesia. What do you do?
Well, you could watch porn to distract yourself from the pain.
Okay, half-joking. This is actually a funny scene from the Hong Kong comedy From Beijing with Love.
Ling Ling Chi gets shot in the leg. As his friend A-Kun prepares to pull out the bullet without anesthesia, he suddenly stops her. Instead of painkillers, Ling Ling Chi pulls out a videotape.
The camera cuts and it is porn. The joke is simple: porn becomes “the best anesthesia,” distracting Ling Ling Chi from the pain of removing the bullet.
But imagine if he were shot every day. He would need to watch porn every day. Over time, that distraction would turn into a habit, maybe even a full-blown addiction.
That is how addictive behaviors begin. First, there is pain, physical or emotional. The instinct is to distract ourselves. If the distraction works, we repeat it. Enough repetitions, and it becomes an addiction.
But what if addictive behavior is more than a curse? What if it is an opportunity to evolve, to grow lighter, to discover inner freedom? What if it is like lifting a heavy weight at the gym, painful at first, but transformative when worked with consistently?
This article explores that possibility.
The Ever-Present Inner Discomfort Behind Addictive Behavior
Maybe “pain” is too strong a word. Let us call it inner discomfort.
Inner discomfort is everywhere. It is the background hum of negative emotions and thoughts, ranging from boredom to anxiety.
Unfulfilled desire is a form of discomfort, a nagging sense of lack. Boredom is discomfort too. If you look closely, boredom is not neutral. It carries subtle negativity, the sense that “the present moment is not good enough.”
If you think you do not have emotional discomfort, try sitting still for 10 minutes doing nothing. Suddenly, uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and urges surface.
This is why meditation is hard for many people. Sitting still makes discomfort obvious, and the impulse to escape becomes overwhelming.
We have gotten so used to this low-level dissatisfaction that we mistake it for normal. We assume our baseline state is discontent rather than inner peace and joy.
Addictive Behavior as a Coping Mechanism
When we engage in addictive behavior, we avoid facing our inner discomfort. We numb ourselves instead. Running away from discomfort through addictive behavior becomes our coping mechanism. The sad thing is, it doesn’t work in the long run.
During a period of feeling depressed, I often stayed up until 3 a.m. doomscrolling silly videos, knowing I had to wake up early for work.
The discomfort showed up as tightness in my throat, alongside thoughts like,I am not good enough. I will never make it. Facing those feelings felt unbearable. So I distracted myself.
The videos worked temporarily. They occupied almost all my attention and pushed the discomfort into the background.
But the more I used distraction to cope, the more it hardened into addictive behavior.
The Many Faces of Addictive Behavior
I use “addictive behavior” broadly. It means any repeated distraction we use to escape discomfort without ever eliminating it.
Typical examples include alcohol, drugs, sex, binge eating, porn, and doomscrolling.
But there are subtler forms too, like overthinking, over-worrying, or over-planning. Basically, the futile overuse of the mind to escape the present.
There are also celebrated forms of addiction, such as over-ambition, overworking, or the constant action to prove ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with working hard or planning. What matters is the intention.
One person pulls an all-nighter because they feel inspired by a vision. Another does it out of anxiety, guilt, or fear of not being enough. Outwardly the action looks the same, but the inner driver makes all the difference.
The latter is working hard to avoid inner discomfort, so it becomes addictive behavior.
Scattered vs. Concentrated Addictive Behaviors
Imagine inner discomfort as an enemy army. Addictive behaviors are our weapons to attack it.
Some people have many small weapons, a little doomscrolling, a little overeating, a little overplanning. Others rely on one giant cannon, like full-blown alcoholism.
The first is scattered addiction. The second is concentrated addiction.
Either way, the mechanism is the same. Distraction instead of resolution.
And once we understand these patterns, we can begin to see that they are not just habits to be broken but challenges/opportunities to be worked with. This perspective naturally opens the door to treating addictive behavior as something like a koan.
Addictive Behavior as a Ready-Made "Koan"
In Zen, a koan is an impossible question, like What is the sound of one hand clapping?
You wrestle with it again and again. The struggle is maddening. But at the end of the struggle, your ordinary mind breaks open, and a clear, enlightening insight emerges. You have a breakthrough, transform, and see into your true nature.
Addictive behavior is like a koan. Once you overcome it by facing discomfort without running away, you are reborn into a new being.
If we face the discomfort directly and penetrate it, what remains? Not boredom, since boredom is discomfort.
What remains is your natural state: inner peace and joy, your birthright. Like the sun shining when clouds disperse.
Addictive urges are messengers. When you catch yourself doomscrolling, pause and ask:What am I running from? The answer is usually some negative emotion or thought.
The messenger is saying, “It’s time to face and release your negative thoughts and feelings.”
This is not mystical. If you feel a sharp stabbing pain in the sole of your foot, you do not just numb the pain with Netflix. You check for the nail and treat the wound.
Inner discomfort works the same way. Ignore the messenger, and it just keeps knocking until you handle it.
Putting the “Koan” on the Altar of Daily Life
Modern spirituality does not require renouncing the world. But it does require renouncing the common ways of handling discomfort, such as suppressing, numbing, or running away.
The secular world gives you endless opportunities to practice:
The news triggers anger.
A successful peer at your workplace triggers jealousy.
A loved one’s illness triggers grief.
An attractive stranger triggers desire.
Each trigger creates discomfort, which fuels the urge to escape through addictive behavior. Most people give in, reinforcing the cycle.
But there is another way: to pierce the balloon of discomfort and urges with mindful observation, so the balloon leaks and shrinks.
This means sitting with discomfort and urges until the energy driving them dissipates.
Working With the "Koan" Through Mindfulness
Everything changes, feelings included. That is why wise people say, “This too shall pass.” A better phrasing is This too is passing.
Inner discomfort is simply energy, sensations in the body and thoughts in the mind. It lingers only because we resist feeling it fully. Addictive behaviors are our resistance.
If a Zen master gives you a koan, you cannot solve it by running away. You must stay with it. Likewise, if you face discomfort with courage, it eventually dissolves.
Here is how:
Suppose you are staring at a chocolate cake. You know you should not eat another slice. Pause. Observe your body. Maybe your stomach feels tight. Maybe you are salivating. Watch your thoughts:Just one more will not hurt.
If the urge is overwhelming, radically accept it. Do not blame yourself. Gently shift your attention outward. Look at the trees outside, listen to the birds. Keep a background awareness of your feelings, without resistance.
If the urge is milder, turn toward it. Sit with the sensations and thoughts. Let them rise and fall.
The key is non-judgmental observation. With patience, urges lose their grip. The discomfort weakens. You no longer feel compelled to eat the cake.
This requires constancy and watchfulness. Discomfort can be triggered anytime, by a photo of a cake, a stressful email, or a random memory. Each moment is an opportunity to practice.
By doing this you bring the temple to you.
People in the temple have fewer triggers, so fewer opportunities to practice and grow. But you do. You just need to look at them from the right angle. In other words, treat it as a koan, a practice opportunity, not a torture.
The Fulfillment of Facing Discomfort
There is a strange fulfillment in facing discomfort with acceptance, compassion, and self-love. Maybe it is the courage of not running away. Maybe it is the relief of letting go. Or maybe it is the realization that discomfort is not as torturous as you thought.
Either way, this is the path out of the nightmare of addictive behavior. Not escape, but presence. Not suppression, but transformation.
Face it. Accept it. Work with it.
That is the only way into inner freedom.
I enjoyed this. There's advice out there that suggests to 'toughen up', but I do believe it's about bringing a softness, a compassion and purposeful attention to the discomforts, just like you described so artfully.